I don't know whether I feel like CRYING right now or SMASHING A WINDOW.
I just wish someone would tell me WHAT TO DO to make a positive impact on this band.
I know we're supposed to focus on our individual achievement, and I'm striving for that, but IS THAT REALLY ALL WE CAN DO?
What is the secret?
WHAT IS THE SECRET to success?
Is it passion?
Is it hard work?
Is it inspiration?
First Mr. Landes tells us he feels like the world's crappiest teacher.
HIM.
OUR BELOVED, FEARLESS, PASSIONATE BAND DIRECTOR feels like it's HIS fault we don't care.
Next our section leaders blame themselves.
They say they don't know what else they can possibly do to help us and encourage us.
At some point you're on your own and you have to find the discipline and passion from within - they can't MAKE us care.
AND NOW, our amazing drum major is potentially LOSING FAITH IN US?
Or maybe not losing faith, but he's obviously disappointed, upset, frustrated, you name it.
I think the rehearsal was productive if you're looking at the number of sets we accomplished, but like all of our leaders keep saying, we COULD HAVE ACHIEVED MORE or at least achieved it without talking and unneccessary distractions.
I wish I knew something I could PERSONALLY do to make a positive impact, however slight.
But I can't think of a SINGLE thing a sophomore could do to help the band or inspire even ONE person.
Especially a sophomore that has medical issues.
WHAT CAN I DO?
I'm tired of listening to the rollercoaster feedback.
It's constantly changing.
I wish we all could pull together and be the band Mr. Landes, our section leaders, and our DRUM MAJOR are proud of.
I'm so ashamed.
Like Leandro said today, it's not any one individual's fault - you can't blame a select group of people.
Everyone takes a part in the blame.
Just as everyone shares the glory.
I wish we could set the standard for the freshmen.
I wish we could shut up.
I wish we could learn to listen and apply.
I wish we could stop having to be lectured by the marching techs.
I wish we could have a silent rehearsal without having to be reminded.
I wish we could have a field show where everyone came off that field proud, without any regrets, knowing it was the best field show we performed this season.
There are so many things I wish, but then that's just THE POINT.
I WISH WE COULD STOP WISHING AND ACTUALLY CARE ENOUGH TO MAKE THE CHANGE THAT WE ALL KNOW WE NEED TO MAKE.
A big problem is that everyone's so worried about their individual effort that they aren't thinking about the rest of the community. Everytime our section leaders talk to us they tell us things, they give us their expectations and it's all them. At this point, they can't do anymore, what needs to happen is people need to start asking each other, "What does the band mean to you?" For too long we've tried to make OTHERS realize what needs to be done, the years before, we were pushed to realize these things OURSELVES through the questions we were asked and the words of inspiration we were given.
ReplyDeleteThe definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over while expecting a different result. From day 1 of this season, we have been doing the same things over and over hoping and looking for change. There can be no change in your environment without having change within yourself first. On top of that, the change must be a positive change. Those who are willing to give up now, to throw away everything we've worked for, everything those before us have worked for, and everything those who will come after us want to work for, are the ones who are willing to let our tradition and our passion die an undeserving death. Instead, those who are willing to fight for what they care about will begin to move those around them to join their efforts and hopefully turn our band's spirit around. As of now Jenny, the best thing you can do is talk to people and hope to spark the passion that is all so familiar to us veterans. Ask people why they continue to stay in it, and ask newcomers how they feel about it. Draw out the answers from those around you, those who make up the Apaches. Currently, our enemy is ourself and the best way to defeat any enemy is to understand it.
Never give up, and keep fighting the good fight.
Also, you're condition is really starting to worry me. All this stress coming from the band can't be good for you. Please try to relax a little. We need you well.